Dear Editors,
You guys should hand out by Strawberry Creek more often. It’d do you some good.
Peacefully,
H.D. Thoreau
Dear Editors,
Sorry.
–Jason Kidd
P.S. Oh, by the way, I’m outta here.
Dear Editors,
Heaven’s great! All the fried chicken you want!
–John Candy
P.S. Too bad I’m not there. Must’ve been Uncle Buck.
Dear Editors,
Will skate for food.
–TH
Dear Editors,
Will skate for comedic talent.
-NK
Dear Editors,
We resent your offensive portrayal of our faith. Your characterization of Chuck E. Cheese as our “poster child” marginalizes our deep commitment to cheese for all believers.
–Jews for Cheeses
Dear Editors,
Sorry, we cannot print four-letter words in your “Self- Description.”
With Regrets,
Blue and Gold Yearbook Editor
Dear Editors,
Would you please stop making fun of Jason? I’m tired of having to read the paper to him so he can understand why everyone is laughing.
Sincerely,
Todd Bozeman
To Whomever Can Hear Me,
Help! The pre-Med students want to kill me!
Desperately,
Kermit the Frog
Dear Editors,
We have some really great photos of Michael Jackson. Would you like to buy them?
Sincerely,
Santa Barbara Police Deptartment
Dear Guys,
I figured I’d ask you, because I’m too embarassed to ask anyone else: What’s an RBI?
Determined to Play,
Michael Jordan
