- Thomas Jefferson’s evil plot to tip all the cows
- A job! (Those hippy slackers)
- That bartering sucks
- Lewis held captive by Lex Luther; Clark changes quickly in a phone booth, saves Lewis.
- Elvis, Osama, the Missing Link, and Sasquatch, all playing 5-card draw in Atlantis
- A clean, completely renewable source of fuel
- Warm and sunny Southwest coast, not shitty Northwest coast
- Sacagawea’s slutty sister
- Prairie cats
- Waterfall made of butter
