- Penis Protection Program
- In a t-shirt that reads “This is not an erection”
- Give it a mustache and overcoat
- Cast it alongside mega-hunk Mel Gibson
- Drill a hole through the back of your backpack and hold in front of you
- Pin the head back with the elastic on your underwear
- Swing it from left to right really, really fast
- Put it in a vagina
- In camouflage fatigues behind a bush in the dark
- Behind a larger erection
