**Economics
**
Professor: Who here can tell me the market value of this broken fiddle?
Student: (raising hand) Three to five baubles, or two and a half to four trinkets, depending on exchange rates.
Professor: Correct, assuming that supply is not restricted by a pogrom.
**
**
**Law
**
Law Professor: And so, the court case Milos v. The Council of Elders established the precedent that states have the right to legislate regarding scheming, but not trickery. Any questions?
Student: (raises hand)
Professor: Yes?
Student: But doesn’t that go against the court’s earlier decision in Danovik v. Nadya, which outlawed both scheming and trickery and established the Duplicity Clause of the Gypsy Constitution? Also, why’d you bring your kids to lecture, and why are they patting my sides to distract me as they reach into my pockets?
Professor: (flees country)
**Political Science
**
Professor : We have a real treat today. I know you guys have been struggling to understand caravan politics, so I thought you could learn from someone who’s been there. Please welcome Inga, thrice-elected crone.
Crone: (rattles chicken bones, cackles)
Professor: Take good notes, this’ll be on the final.
**
**
**Chemistry Lab
**
Student 1: How’s chem lab?
Student 2: It’s rough, man. Our group’s titration of dirty pond water and goat blood kept getting contaminated by matted hair.
Student 1: Did you say all the charms from the pre-lab?
**
**
**English
**
Professor: Before I assign you _The Hunchback of Notre Dame _for the fifth time this semester, are there any questions?
Student: Yeah, in which wagon will your office hours be this week?
Professor: The one the chimera painted on it. Oh! And before you all go, remember to finish reading tarot cards five through pentacle before section.
**
**
**Faculty Club Dinner
**
Professor: (lightly strikes glass with fork) Excuse me? If I could have your attention, please?
Other Professors: _(stop stuffing food into their many, many secret pockets)
_
Professor: I’d like to propose a toast to Yurgi Borokavich, who just got tenure. Yurgi, you and your recently published paper on three-card Monte are inspirations to gypsy statisticians everywhere.
Professor Borokavich: Thank you, thank you. I’d like to thank The Carnegie Foundation and Guy I Bumped Into In The Street for their generous financial support of my work.
