The difference between being a cool guy with herpes and a loser with herpes is all in the transmission. This guide will help explain the cool and uncool ways to get a disease.
Mono
Uncool way to get it: Sharing a burrito with someone on the bus to band camp
Cool way to get it: Making out with someone on the bus to band camp
Less cool way to get it: Making out with a burrito on the bus to band camp
AIDS
Uncool way to get it: Blood transfusion
Cool way to get it: Being attacked by an AIDS-infested mummy in Egypt
Less cool way to get it: Having sex with someone you know had sex with an AIDS-infested mummy in Egypt
Pneumonia
Uncool way to get it: Waiting five hours in the rain for a Celine Dion concert
Cool way to get it: Waiting five hours in the rain for a Queen concert
Gay way to get it: Waiting five hours in the rain for a Celine Dion concert while fucking the members of Queen. Alternately, a pretty cool way to get AIDS.
Alcoholism
Uncool way to get it: Being born into a family of alcoholics
Cool way to get it: Being John Belushi
Really uncool way to get it: Being the son of Jim Belushi
Hepatitis
Uncool way to get it: Hepatitis A from using a public toilet
Cool way to get it: Anything involving one of the many Hepatitis B/C positive celebrities
Robot way to get it: Hepatitis 01000001 from plugging into a public generator
Ovarian Cancer
Uncool way to get it: Early in life
Cool way to get it: Late in life
Coolest way to get it: Raped by the Hulk
Heart Disease
Uncool way to get it: A lifetime of stressful situations at work
Cool way to get it: Smoking, drinking, and fucking 24/7/365
Unfortunate way to get it: Heart transplant from a baboon that smoked, drank, and fucked 24/7/365
