Baby becomes Hardcore Nihilist after Devastating Game of Peekaboo

Eleven-month-old Steven Schunk of Evergreen, Conn., was changed forever last Sunday by shocking events that unfolded in his own home.

“I was just sitting in my room when my dad came in to play with me,” reports Steven. The elder Mr. Schunk had decided to spend some quality time with his son after a long day at work. Playtime started out like any other harmless game of peekaboo, and, as usual, Mr. Schunk began counting to three and moved to cover his son’s eyes.

However, after three, everything was in utter chaos. Steven reports being lost in a black void, with no memory of who or where he was. “It was in the void that I realized that nothing in life has meaning.

“For those few moments, nothing was certain anymore, everything I had ever known was torn away from me,” the exasperated baby detailed. “Do I even have a father? Aren’t we all fatherless blind worms grasping towards some alleged purpose?” the eleven-month-old questioned.

Steven now spends his afternoons gazing mournfully at his toys, wondering what is real and what can be lost at any second. “I don’t know what to believe in anymore,” Steven bemoaned. “Will the fountain of sustenance that comes out of my supposed ‘mother’ continue on forever?”

Although Steven is still reeling from the incident, his parents are a little more optimistic. “We’re just glad he’s having this crisis now rather than later on in his twenties after he reads Camus.”