This morning, Commencement Chair George Maxler delivered a response to the controversy surrounding Bill Maher’s appointment as commencement speaker.
“We understand and apologize for the turmoil that has resulted from our decision. Bill Maher’s long history of objectionable statements on religion, women, and minorities makes him an unfit candidate to speak at a UC Berkeley graduation ceremony. But, to be honest, we didn’t think anyone graduating in the winter would notice.”
Maxler went on to further apologize, “I don’t really care for the guy myself, but we ran into a bit of a pickle because we’d forgotten all about winter graduation. By the time we went to book someone, Maher was one of the only speakers available.”
On the magnitude of the outrage Bill Maher’s appointment has received, Maxler said, “We were honestly surprised that this hodge-podge of transfer students and quasi-dropout tweakers would give a shit. Frankly, we almost went with Carrot Top but he couldn’t fit all his props behind the podium.”
Maxler concluded by noting how lucky these “stoner fuck-ups” were to even receive diplomas in the first place.