80s Retro Fans Funnel Arms to Al-Qaeda

Like many young people these days, John Farndale, 16, loves the culture of the 1980s. But he and his friends have found a new way to express their nostalgia: selling weapons to violent, fundamentalist Islamic militias. “The ‘80s were just so cool, you know?”, said Farndale. “The clothes, the music, the ascendance of the far right in politics. We just wanted a new way to show it besides watching A-Team reruns while dramatically increasing our military budget.”

Farndale’s idea has spread to many other ‘80s enthusiasts. Last year, a group of teenagers in Buffalo pooled their allowances to purchase and smuggle 200 surface-to-air missile launchers for a plucky group of insurgents fighting in Pakistan. The weapons were carefully packaged with hand-crafted crimped wigs and Wham!

The craze has attracted the attention of others, as well. VH1 plans to document Farndale’s hobby in a new special entitled “I Love the Mujahadeen”, documenting his plan to send his rebellious pen pals their very own nuclear weapon. Released clips include a montage of Farndale painstakingly assembling the bomb’s casing, while “Take On Me” plays in the background. “This is going to be the best ‘80s week at school ever,” he said. “Don’t you forget about me, Osama!”