- The reader is all Cesar Chavez
- Responds poorly to your racist humor
- Hired him at a home depot parking lot
- Runs across Telegraph with entire family in tow
- Doesn’t have tenure
- Got his PHD in dry walling
- Smiles politely and nods at every question
- Office hours held in tomato field
- Stole his job from good hardworking American professors
- Serape with leather patches still notably serape
