Top Ten Reasons to Grow a Beard

  1. It’s cold. And you’re a child molester
  2. When you were five a razor killed your father
  3. Pink chin the pirate sounds too pussy
  4. President of the female Viking student association
  5. President of the Viking student association
  6. Rogaine addiction
  7. Your name is John Beard and you’re tired of living a lie
  8. It’s worth two units for your philosophy major
  9. Prove a point to your girlfriend about shaving
  10. Harder to see face on low resolution surveillance video