Sasquatch, the mythological creature believed by
many to be the missing-link between man and
Serena Williams, was discovered inside a
Chewbacca costume at a Star Wars role-playing
costume party last Thursday night.
Sasquatch made
a booming entrance into the party by kicking down
host Jeremy Benthem’s door with his big, mud and
leaf-covered foot. After Sasquatch tried eating
Benthem’s cat, nervous party-goers grew
suspicious of the 8’3″ giant, prompting Benthem,
dressed as Yoda, to say, “Friends of mine, the
Wookiees are, but leave you must.” Sasquatch
responded by yelling “AAHAARRRAAJOOOB”, a noise
so frightfully out-of-character it broke
Benthem’s TV and woke his parents.
Using the cat
as bait, party guests were able to detain
Sasquatch in Benthem’s basement where he removed
his hairy, apish costume and revealed his true
identity. “Oh my god, there’s another Wookiee in
the Chewbacca costume,” shouted an excited guest
as Sasquatch pooped on Benthem’s collection of
unused Lightsaber-themed condoms. Authorities
arrived shortly thereafter and left with the
man-beast, but not before it had semi-ironically
torn the arm off a C3PO that had just beaten it
in space chess.
