I, Roe-bot: An Historical Journey

In the 24th century, a new chapter in the history
of civil rights was written. And it was written in binary.

1963 to 2304: And as it is written in the robot Bible, “…and ROBBIE begat AIBO, and AIBO
begat ASIMO, and ASIMO begat ASIMO version 2.36 powered by Windows CE…” (the robot Bible and other works from Philip K. Dick are now available from Amazon).

2307: Robot poverty and unplanned pregnancies reach an all-time high, leading many robots to sadly venture into back alleys to perform illegal abortions using paper clips and that little reset button underneath the drivebay.

2313: In the case of Roe-Bot v. WadeBot, the Supreme Court establishes a robot’s right to choose as a fundamental right, despite WadeBot’s emotional assertion that life begins at C:>compile GAAo begin.out. Many have attributed the victory of RoeBot to the fact that WadeBot was actually a Wade Boggs robot, and as such was better at fielding grounders than arguing legal precedent.

2320: To prevent further conflict in the growing robot controversy, the Three Laws of Robotics are established, but two are later overturned on appeal.

2332: Excerpt from famed Lifetime Original Movie Not Without My ASUS Motherboard’s Frontside Bus:

LadyBot 1: OMG, I was sooo drunk last night. Tell no one, sister, but I think I’m
LadyBot 2: No! Who?
LadyBot 1: I don’t know, but I think I’m going to abort the fetus by upgrading to Microsoft Longhorn 12 Office XP since the fetus
won’t be supported.
LadyBot 2: Don’t do that, it’s too expensive! I heard that if you run Winamp, two screensavers, and Norton Antivirus at the same
time, your processor uses too much RAM and therefore aborts the fetus.

2324: In Choicetron v. Bolts, the pro-robot abortion lobby seemed poised to suffer a major setback when Choicetron lost her momentum
after Bolt’s efficient wedge design flipped her onto the kill saw in the second round of the semifinals competition. However, the case was declared a victory for Choicetron after Bolts lost control and slid under the Slammer Hammer.

2340: In an effort to maintain control over the birthrate of its native robot population, China institutes the now-infamous “One Robot, Then One Smaller, Much More Efficient Robot” policy.

2341: India, faced with its own population
issues, goes beyond China’s policy by moving to a forced “Clicking That Little Tab on the End of the Disc” policy. An estimated two million untouchables die in the process.