- Sports an “Old Delta Bluesman” T-shirt, but not ironically
- Ken Burns always peering through the windows
- Lots of red suspenders
- His room always smells like whiskey and tears
- Don’t done got no replacement toilet roll
- Every week, Eric Clapton stops by to steal his music
- Won bets with the devil so many times that his soul is now invalid
- He keeps stealing your crawfish
- Telemarketers always call for “Blind Potato Washington,” when his name is actually “Blind Potatoes Washington”
- Insists on paying rent check in song
