“Pony,” the breakthrough hit from R&B star Ginuwine, was barred from all future play at Willard Middle School dances after school officials declared the song’s lyrics to be too tame for the student body.
“‘Send chills up and down your spine/Juices flowing down your thigh?'” said Principal Andrew Simmons in an official statement. “Come on. This song reeks of 1996. As educators, we can accept only the freak-nastiest jams for your eleven year-olds.”
Student government president Tiffany Moran agreed. “‘Pony’ might have been the shit for my big sister, but this is, like, the twenty-first century. You take Khia, on the other hand – now she a nasty bitch.