Radical DJs Protest No Spin Zone

Spurred on by the enormous success of humorist Al Franken’s GOP-bashing bestseller Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them, an impassioned throng of extreme-left disc jockeys gathered Saturday outside the Long Island residence of Fox News anchor Bill O’Reilly in a 25-turntable, 135-decibel protest of the conservative commentator’s trademark “No Spin Zone.”

In planning stages since the debut of The O’Reilly Factor in 1995, the event was finally made a reality largely through the financial support of outspoken pro-spin activists Nancy Kerrigan and Mikhail Baryshnikov. Modern rock act Lifehouse also took a stand, providing the rally with exclusive Todd Terry and Hex Hector club mixes of their 2002 hit “Spin.”

Speaking through a vocoder, Brooklyn-based DJ and demonstration organizer Sammie Allard explained his group’s motivation: “The American book-buying public has spoken, and the hour is nigh. Now is the time for Mr. O’Reilly to realize that we will not be silenced. We shall GAA nay, we must GAA spin as we have never spun before.”

Reached for comment while trapped inside his home, O’Reilly provided the Squelch with a brief statement. “Shut up!” he told the protesters. “Shut up!”