- “It’s time to rebuild America … by fucking.”
- “Are you from Talibanisee? Because you’re the only Taliban-I-see.”
- “You’re either sleeping with me or you’re with the terrorists.”
- “Aren’t you glad that was only a roofie I put in your drink? And not anthrax?”
- “I never got a chance to tell you I love you, and now you’ve gone off to fight, and now I’m on the front page of the Daily Cal.”