Top Ten Reasons Your Head Is Going to Explode

  1. Head implosion is so 1998
  2. You’re in space, and although you do have your helmet, it’s useless because you are six years old and made it yourself out of cardboard
  3. You filled your head with popcorn kernels and then heated yourself to between 400 and 600 degrees Fahrenheit, the temperature at which popcorn pops
  4. You’re in space and a grizzly bear stole your helmet
  5. You’re drinking Coke while eating Pop Rocks, gunpowder, and tiny sticks of lit dynamite
  6. Your head slowed to below 50 miles per hour
  7. It’s inside a vagina
  8. Because that fucking bullshit Staind song is on every radio station and music network
  9. You sneezed while covering your nose and mouth
  10. You’re in space and you forgot to wear your helmet