Top Ten Reasons Your Head Is Going to Explode

Head implosion is so 1998
You’re in space, and although you do have your helmet, it’s useless because you are six years old and made it yourself out of cardboard
You filled your head with popcorn kernels and then heated yourself to between 400 and 600 degrees Fahrenheit, the temperature at which popcorn pops
You’re in space and a grizzly bear stole your helmet
You’re drinking Coke while eating Pop Rocks, gunpowder, and tiny sticks of lit dynamite
Your head slowed to below 50 miles per hour
It’s inside a vagina
Because that fucking bullshit Staind song is on every radio station and music network
You sneezed while covering your nose and mouth
You’re in space and you forgot to wear your helmet