- You’re an infant, you’re hungry, you’ve got a poopy diaper, and you have feet the size of an NBA power forward
- You’re in a bathtub full of ice, but your kidneys have not been removed, so you’re still not sure if it’s an urban myth
- You weren’t planning on switching phone companies at 8:00 in the morning, but the person calling you thought you should.
- Instead of your alarm clock, there’s a ten piece mariachi band and they’re dressed like Latin Robocops
- You woke up little Susie with your snoring and she kicked your nuts up your ass
- You’re half buried in a cemetery somewhere outside of Mexico City
- You’re getting oral from a dead guy
- You’re on the foor and your roommate is on the street selling your bed to some Pakistanis
- You’re underneath the bed
- You’re on the wrong side of the bed
