Several hardcore sluts want to fuck Griffiths Hall resident Dave Pruitt, according to a website banner encountered by Pruitt earlier this week. Pruitt discovered the sluts during his daily mid-afternoon porn search.
“This banner really caught my eye,” Pruitt said, “I mean, usually people on Web sites just fuck each other, but this banner explicitly said ‘Hardcore sluts want to fuck you!’ Me! Dave Pruitt!”
Additional text in the banner revealed that the hardcore sluts who want to fuck Pruitt include “pretty shaved teens,” “cum-covered sorority bitches,” and “pussy lapping bisexual whores.”
“I’m especially interested in the cum-covered sorority bitches,” added Pruitt. “Most sorority bitches I meet around here don’t seem interested in me–or my cum.”
Pruitt has yet to figure out how to get in touch with the hardcore sluts, since he was forced to quickly minimize his browser window and pretend to write e-mails when his roommate entered the room.
