Squelch: Hi Sisqo, thanks for coming down to the office on such short notice.
Sisqo: No problem. What would you like to talk about?
Guys: What, what, what?
Squelch: Uh, what’s the deal with these guys?
Sisqo: Oh, they’re always like, “what, what, what,” I can’t really explain it.
Guys: What, what, what?
Squelch: It must have quite an influence on your songwriting.
Sisqo: I can’t help it, really. I write what I know.
Squelch: I’d like to talk about your famous hit song…
Sisqo: You mean “The Thong Song”?
Squelch: Yes, that one. Just for the record, could you give us the actual title of the song?
Sisqo: That is the name of the song.
Squelch: “The Thong Song”?
Sisqo: Yep.
Squelch: Your record label doesn’t give you a bonus for effort, do they?
Sisqo: Honesty is pivotal in the music industry.
Squelch: Of course.
Sisqo: Like that one Britney Spears song. Of course it isn’t about sex with older men.
Squelch: Right.
Sisqo: She said so in that interview with USA Weekend.
Squelch: I love USA Weekend. There’s just something beautifully ironic about any publication that features exercise tips from George Foreman.
Guys: What, what, what?
Squelch: Do they ever stop doing that?
Sisqo: Naw, man.
Squelch: I have a copy of the lyrics to the song here…
Sisqo: Great lyrics.
Squelch: Let me see…now here in the refrain, I have, “Let me see that thong, that thong, that thong thong thong thong thong.”
Sisqo: I love that part.
Squelch: It has an almost singsong quality to it.
Sisqo: Originally, I wanted it to go, “Let me see that thong, that thong thong thong, that thong thong thong thong thong thong thong thong,” but I felt that gave it a certain postmodern bitterness, which I wanted to avoid.
Squelch: I see what you mean.
Sisqo: I think the simplified version is much truer to its inspiration.
Squelch: Would you say you’re unsatisfied with any aspect of the recording?
Sisqo: Although I feel validated by the fact that many artists today have made the same mistake as me, I have to admit that, unfortunately, I forgot about Dre.
Squelch and Sisqo (together): Whoa!
Squelch: Nonetheless, you seem to have done well for yourself.
Sisqo: I don’t have to ax to use anyone’s cell phone, that’s for sure.
Squelch: Moving along, I understand you did your own backup vocals on this track.
Sisqo: Yep.
Squelch: [reading from notes] “I like it when the booty goes dun-nun-dun-nun.”
Sisqo: Well, I do.
Squelch: When does the booty go dun-nun-dun-nun, exactly?
Sisqo: Oh, you couldn’t say for certain.
Squelch: But it has been known to happen?
Sisqo: Oh, yes.
Squelch: And you like it?
Sisqo: It’s awesome, man.
Squelch: Now, Sisqo, there’s been some talk of you doing an endorsement for a certain Internet-infrastructure company. We’ve also all heard rumors about the competing offer from a certain processed-food manufacturer. Care to comment?
Sisqo: Only if you let me see that thong.
