Chinese Publishing Firm Releases The Tao of Tao

“It’s a fuckin’ religion, people. Remember?”

In the wake of the success in the West of several popular-culture books based on the ancient Chinese religion called “Taoism,” such as The Tao of Physics, The Tao of Symbols, and The Tao of Peace, and such light-hearted musings as The Tao of the Pooh and The Tao of Dow, the Chinese division of Harcourt-Brace has just released an emotionally charged book called The Tao of Tao. The author wishes to remind people that “Taoism is a religion, goddammit,” and that “Master Lao wouldn’t be pleased with all this post-modern hippie shit. How would you like it if we started publishing books called, Reds are From Mars, Experts are From Venus or The World According to Mao? That would fix your collective wagon(s).” He added that the teachings of Lao Tzu, the ancient sage of Taoism, are not a “trendy little trifle to glance at over the morning’s wretched smoothie. Especially if it’s got ginseng added to it.” In related news, the American division is soon to release The Tao of Ginseng Smoothies, certified by the Wisconsin Ginseng Board, with a coupon for a free ginseng smoothie.