- Teach evolution in Kansas
- Replace communal wine with Franzia “Party-in-a-Box”
- Last rites read in comical Yiddish accent
- Non-transsubstantiating wafers
- Recommend the rhythm method as a viable birth control option
- A dildo in your ass instead of the priest’s cock
- Apology for two thousand years I of church misdeeds
- Whoopee cushions in confessional booths
- Exploding school bus in Ulster
- Altar candles that light up again after being blown out
