In the wake of two horrific and costly failures involving the exploration of Mars, NASA officials have announced plans to increase the administration’s efficiency by reducing certain intermediary steps in its operations. NASA scientist Hal Melina summed up the plan for reporters earlier this week:
“Rather than spend a lot of taxpayer money and then disappoint them by fucking up all the time,” Melina explained, “We’re going to cut out a few steps. From now on, all NASA projects will involve the launching of giant trash bags full of hundred dollar bills directly into outer space.”
Melina went on to claim that this plan would allow NASA to continue to siphon funds away from legitimate scientific endeavors, such as developing alternative energy sources and creating treatments for life-threatening diseases, as well as maintain NASA’s tradition of “wicked cool launches with lots of smoke and fire and shit.”
The first launch in the “Hundred Dalla Bills, Y’all” series is scheduled for April 2nd of this year.