The campus community was overjoyed this week when “cartoonist” Andy Singer, the diabolical mastermind behind the Daily Cal’s “No Exit” comic panel, announced that he would be retiring from his post as the newspaper’s most nonsensical contributor.
An emotional Singer told a press conference of about five or six bored reporters that he would be drawing his last squinty-eyed, heavily cross-shaded and altogether humorless panel at the end of the month, at which point he will embark on a nationwide tour to preach the many advantages of public transportation.
While most students are pleased with the imminent absence of Singer’s cryptic, meaningless drawings from their daily newspaper, others have expressed concerns over the impact of Singer’s retirement. One such person, “Racetrack Road” creator Derek Gebler, told reporters, “Without ‘No Exit,’ my strip will be the shittiest thing on the comics page. I’m just praying that they bring back ‘Chasing Anything.’ Boy was that strip a pail of turds.”