Top Ten Reasons to Marry a Dog

  1. Likes chasing pussy as much as you do.
  2. How 'bout all those nipples?
  3. ‘Cause you knocked her up
  4. If you think he’s having an affair, you can lock him in the yard
  5. You can win any argument by rubbing her tummy
  6. Two words: Doggy Style
  7. You have an excuse to sniff spouse’s butt in public
  8. You can wear a t-shirt that says, “I’m not into bestiality but my spouse is”
  9. You already know she’s a bitch
  10. Will lick peanut butter off of anything