People are Stupid

You people are stupid, it was announced yesterday. A group of Berkeley scientists have released a report which describes you people to be “appallingly stupid, bordering on idiocy”. This report is the result of a twoyear study by the LBNL You People Division.

The conclusion about you people was reached after a long series of events which have thrown you people’s intellectual abilities into question. For example, the approval ratings of Clinton, which soared during his numerous illicit affairs and ensuing impeachment trial, are now waning due to his use of force to promote humanitarian causes in Kosovo. This, along with the fact that you people always complain about the government and still don’t vote, as well as the recent success of the film Titanic, all, according to the report, “…really make us wonder just what the hell you people are thinking.”

“What’s with you people, anyway?” inquired Dr. James Fitsimmons, one of the head researchers. “I mean, sometimes I just can’t believe the cavernous depths of stupidity you people are capable of achieving.”

When asked about the possible reaction you people might have to the report, Fitsimmons answered, “Well I suppose it’s possible that some of you people might not agree with the findings, but that is to be expected because you people are not as smart as we are.”

A spokesperson for you people was not available for comment.