Short Conversations

“Have you seen ‘Titanic’?”

“Every day in the shower, baby.”

“I don’t like toast.”

“What do you mean, you don’t like toast? What are you. a communist?”

“What class is your midterm in?”


“How was last night?”

“I touched so many balls.”


“Yeah, I got this one guy to pull out his balls, then I hit ’em. He rolled
around on the floor for a long time.”

“I can’t seem to find Daily Cal’s mention of all the parties in the election.
It seems like they grouped all patties who had a realistic view of the ASUCK
as fringe’ parties.”

“That’s no moon.”

“Farms … in Berkely?”

“I don’t like you either.”

“That’s no moon.”

“I really don’t drink. You just can’t seem to handle the fact that I’m in
a sorority and I don’t drink.”

(Four hours later, at around 2:30 a.m.)

“So why were you trying to wake me up?”

“I dunno. Maybe ’cause I’m drunk.”

“The way I see it, if you’re gonna chow ass you may as well be gay.”

“Come on, let me throw your shoe off the balcony. You’ve already got one
shoe, what do you need two for?”

“You have an opinion, why can’t I have an opinion?”

“Because you’re Irish.”

“Where’s Stacy?”

“She said she was gonna go out walk around until she got raped.”

“Why don’t you just put the tickle me Elmo in your bedroom?”

“That’s pretty big talk from someone who eats POOP!”