Squelch : Hello, girls.
Baby Spice : I was a playboy model.
Squelch : Woah, we’re not there yet. I’d like to find out how the four of you first got interested in music.
Fifth Spice : Theh’s five of us!
Squelch : Uhh, right.
Ginger Spice : Me first! When I was in nurs’ry school I had a toy ‘wot my mum gave me, and you’d crank it, and it’d play “Pop Goes the Weasel,” and it would pop. When the song said, “Pop” it popped. “Pop,” pop, “Pop”, pop,. . .
Squelch : I don’t see what…
Ginger Spice : “Pop”, pop, “Pop-pop,” pop-pop!
Baby Spice : I’m naughty.
Squelch : Baby Spice, are you naughty?
Baby Spice : Yes.
Squelch : Would the other three of you like to share anything?
Fifth Spice : Four. The other -FOUR- of us.
Squelch : Right. What the hell’s your name, anyway?
Fifth : Sporty Spice.
Squelch : Whatever. Where do you girls get the inspiration for your videos?
Posh Spice : Inspiration?
Squelch : Do your brilliant ideas, like say, singing in the desert, just pop into your head?!
Ginger Spice : Pop?
Squelch : Shut up.
Scary Spice : Why don’t you ask me any questions? Squelch: Ahhh!
Scary Spice : What’s wrong?
Squelch : Uhhh, nothing.
Posh Spice : I get my inspiration when I’m shopping. When I look good, I feel good. Then I turn to song-writing.
Squelch : Get serious.
Posh Spice : Alright, only joking. I am good at coming up with harmonies, though.
Squelch : you expect me to believe that?
Posh Spice : Alright, only joking. I do pick my own clothes in the morning, though.
Squelch : That’s enough. Stinky Spice, where do you get your inspiration?
Fifth Spice : That’s Sporty.
Squelch : Whatever.
Baby Spice : I like bondage.
Squelch : Get your hand out of my pants!
Scary Spice : Are you talking to me?
Squelch : Aaaaah!
Scary Spice : What? What’s wrong?
Squelch : Nothing. Could you go sit in the corner?
Ginger Spice : Mum sent me to the corner once.
Baby Spice : I go to the corner a lot. My pimp says that’s good.
Squelch : What about you, Sleazy Spice?
Fifth Spice : That’s Sporty Spice.
Squelch : Whatever.
Squelch : Where did you all meet?
Posh Spice : Prison.
Ginger Spice : Parliament.
Scary Spice : Can I come out now?
Every one : NO!!!
Baby Spice : I was eating out Posh Spice. She said she had friends that I should meet. She never paid, though.
Squelch : What about you, Old Spice?
Fifth Spice : Bloody fool, it’s SPORTY SPICE!
Squelch : Whatever.
Posh Spice : Our movie is coming out in January
Squelch : Do you think that is fair to the general public?
Gigner Spice : We play 5 pretty Brits who sing their way to fame.
Squelch : So you’ll be taking acting lessons, then?
Scary Spice : I don’t think I like you very much.
Baby Spice : I like everyone.
Squelch : I told you to get your hand out of my pants! What about you Hitler Spice?
Fifth Spice : For the last fucking time wanker, it’s SPORTY SPICE!
Squelch : Whatever. May God have mercy on our souls.
