Here at the Squelch we understand that we have a responsibility to provide the Berkeley community with biased, fragmented political coverage. To demonstrate our commitment to that goal, we have attained copies of the national budgets proposed by various political figures, elected and otherwise. Here are some key proposals:
 
Bill Clinton
Hillary Clinton
Newt Gingrich
Marion Berry
Ronald Reagan
Taxes
Yes, yes, oh god yes!
Lower Taxes on failed Arkansas real estate ventures
Only on people who refuse to work
Tax deductions for crack purchases
I prefer the subway
Crime
Jail Jennifer Flowers
Jail Chelsea's orthodontist
Bad.
Leniency and elected office for all crack users
I like naps
Immigration
Increase Immigration, especially chicks
Deport every third rupublican
See above
Go ahead and cross the border, and bring some crack
SDI
Agriculture
Subsidies for Big Mac growers
Think of something funny for this. Go ahead, we dare you.
Consolidate crop burning with book burning to save federal funds
Subsidies for crack growers
I once played a farmer
Crack
-
-
-
Yes
-
Social Programs
Encourage out of wedlock teenage pregnancies
Nationalized, socialized, federalized health care by the same people who run the DMV
"Social Program" is an oxymoron
Construction of new crack shelters for inner cities
I like "Matlock" and "Muder She Wrote"
Defense
Who's Paula Jones?
Napalm my hair dresser
I turned down the $ 4 million, alright?
Invade Colombia
Did you ever see "The sands of Iwo Jima"? That was good
