- Bob Dole says so.
- Olympic figure skaters wear full body armor to practice.
- Kindergartners outgun their teachers in New York public schools.
- New Kids on the Block concerts sell out due to guns-for-tickets
swap.
- Disneyworld attendance in Florida drops .01% due to attacks on
foreign tourists.
- Carjackers are being carjacked.
- Mortal Kombat III is released, with 20 new Authentic Insta-Death
moves.
- LA freeway traffic moving so slow that highway shootings can’t
miss.
- Erik and Lyle Menendez get off scot-free.
- NRA starts to send out free memberships to children.
