At a press conference yesterday afternoon, the Imperial Military Academy’s Chancellor Valorum revealed that the university had fallen victim to an interschool prank rivaling last year’s Great Helmet Gluing. According to the Chancellor’s press release, the school’s Advanced Blasters and Marksmanship class has been infiltrated and taught by a student from the Rebel Alliance Institute for the past three years.
Suspicions of a prank initially arose when a curriculum review discovered that much of the class’ content, originally focused on “taking cover” and “hitting targets,” had been changed to “falling down” and “hitting your head on doors.” Valorum went on the record saying he would take full responsibility for the incident shortly before being choked to death by an invisible hand.
No response has been made from the Rebel Alliance Institute, with the exception of an unnamed student who claimed the prank “serves ‘em right for that stunt they pulled at the Alderaan game.” When asked if the school’s administration would be doing anything to find the culprits, RAI president Antilles urged the media “these aren’t the students you’re looking for.”
