Presidential Election Called on Account of Rain

In a move that disappointed hundreds of Major League Politics fans, the Bush administration announced this week that the 2008 election will be canceled due to the fierce downpour that gripped Washington, D.C. last Thursday.

“It’s too bad,” said President Bush (Right Field, .233). “It looked like a beautiful year, and both teams were raring to go. But since the weather turned against us, I have no choice but to remain president until the next election. Maybe we can play two in 2012, if it’s nice out.”

Vice President Cheney (Far Right Field, .666) echoed the President’s sentiments, saying “Sure, it’ll be tough continuing to run the country as my personal fiefdom for four more years, but the field’s just so damn muddy. I doubt we could even get one fund-raiser in without slipping.”

Cheney then paused to spit his chewing tobacco into the eye of a nearby child. “See you in November, chumps… er, citizens. Nah, chumps.”

McCain and Obama, Captains of the Republicans and Republicans, dejectedly accepted the news and packed their equipment into their team buses. Only batboy Ron Paul (5th Base, .0;f) remained, and kept talking about gold and its possible placement within “them hills.”