My Rejected Sitcom

“My Body and Me”

_Nate is a young man whose life is tragically cut short. Now he’s in heaven hanging out with all his internal organs as they go on a series of crazy, afterlife adventures. Hang on, because this season is gonna be a heartfelt attack on the funny bone.

INT. APARTMENT IN HEAVEN – DAY Nate’s internal organs lounge on the couch and stools lining the kitchen counter. NATE swings open the door, and everyone looks his way.


How’s everyone doing?


Hey Nate!


So you guys wanna know what we’re gonna do today? (Pause) We’re gonna go find all my dead pets. Well, except that parrot I had during my Dave Matthews phase.


Put your pets inside me, Nate.


No way stomach, that’s what you said about my car keys and Lower Intestine never let me hear the end of that one.

LOWER INTESTINE sprays brown corn across the room. LUNGS flap over to lung cage and begin eating some lung seed.


(Sidles over to Nate and puts spinal column over his shoulder)

Nate, I don’t mean to alarm you but these people are clearly insane. We have to dispose of them.


Oh Brain! That’s the same crazy talk that wound us up here in the first place.

Everyone bursts out laughing, APPENDIX actually bursts. NATE falls to the ground kicking his legs. He opens his mouth to scream but only blood comes out.