Upon receiving her rejection letter from the Boalt School of Law, AOPi sister Allison Summer tragically discovered that her “Everything I Need To Know In Life I Learned From Legally Blonde” poster was total fucking bullshit.
“My application video was perfect!” she whined. “My sister and I had a pillow fight! She’s a Delia’s model! What could have possibly gone wrong?”
Plenty, according to Walter Chobdok, Dean of Admissions at the Boalt school. “What? Who?” Chobdok said. “Oh, the pillow fight girl? Well if you want a comment I guess I’d have to go with ‘dangerously unqualified.’ There was no possible way we would even consider this. She sent us her PSAT scores, okay? At one point during her video application, she mentioned how much she looked forward to meeting the rest of this season’s Real World cast. She is less than dead to us.”
Despite the rejection, and rejections from Harvard, Georgetown, and Elimidate, Summer remains hopeful. “There’s always congress!” she bubbled. She and her small dog then snorked up an eighth of blow and went down on some guys from Fiji.
