Harley-Davidson Obtains New Image

Harley-Davidson, which has been synonymous with overpriced leather jackets, drunken bar fights, and STD filled orgies for over 100 years, is being forced to widen their target audience with a new line of mini-vans in response to numerous complaints by disease infested ex-cons with living, breathing reminders of Jack Daniel’s RockFest running around.

William Harley IV, current CEO of Harley-Davidson, feels that broadening their horizons is “pussy shit” but nonetheless the company is currently building their first Harley Mini-Van model. “I don’t believe a minivan is quite what this company originally set out to produce, but if that’s what those fat queers down in marketing think we should be doing, then I aint gonna tell them no,” Harley said. He then slapped this reporter way too hard on the back and laughed gruffly and at great-length.

When asked for further comment, Mr. Harley swore repeatedly and then had sex with an unattractive bar maid from Barstow.