Berdahl Announces New Classroom Renovation Plans

With only weeks remaining in his term, Chancellor Berdahl has announced new renovation plans in a desperate attempt to leave some sort of mark on the campus. Mulford Hall will be renovated and renamed “Berdahl Hall,” as well as moved somewhere on campus that students will actually see. The MLK Student Union will get a couch and will be renamed “The Martin Luther King Jr. and Robert Berdahl Student Union.”

“This is a major part of my vision to better the campus,” said Berdahl. “Besides, I have to accomplish something so the kids stop referring to me as Jowly Jowhlson.”

ASUC Senator Misha Leybovich voiced his opposition to the plans, and threatened that if Berdahl does not halt the renovation, he will organize a petition or hold a textbook exchange or something equally effective.

“I want at least a four-page spread in the Daily Cal when I die,” said Jowhlson. “It had better be more than the two pages that fucker Chang-Lin Tien got.”

Students then paused and fondly remembered Chancellor Tien.