Top Ten Things a Sorority Girl Would Never Say

“You write for the Squelch? I won’t
have sex with you.”
“I got an A!”
“I don’t need to have fat friends to
feel good about myself.”
“Who’s up for a rousing game of
Scattergories?”
“Why, this too-tight shirt shows off
my beer belly.”
“I’m so secure about so many
things.”
“Why would I want to shower with
another girl?”
“I have no problem with all the
Asian girls in the Greek system.”
“No thanks. I don’t know where
this beer has been.”
“I’ll just shut up now.”