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Top Ten Reasons to Kick Someone in the Shins | The Heuristic Squelch
Volume 13- Issue 1

Top Ten Reasons to Kick Someone in the Shins

August 1, 2003
  1. You already kicked them in the nads
  2. Because you’re Jean Claude Van Damme and that’s what you do. You kick. The shins are incidental.
  3. The shins belong to Hitler
  4. You haven’t kicked anyone in the shins yet today
  5. Their shins are on fire
  6. “Shins” is how people in your country say “chinks”
  7. You hate Mondays, Mondays is walking by
  8. You’re a soccer player and in a few moments you’re going to pretend that in fact, you were the one was kicked in the shins, fooling the gullible South American or European ref yet again
  9. Shins belong to the man who killed your family
  10. Magical shins grant wishes