Workers Unite Against Organized Labor

A group of workers picketed the Port of Oakland today to protest organized labor. The workers, fed up with the special treatment given to Union members, joined together in a self-proclaimed “show of solidarity” and let loose cries of “United against Unions! We are Workers, Too!”

“Organized labor is an outdated concept that is harming the economy and taking jobs away from honest, hard-working people,” said Joe Johnson, a 32 year old construction worker from Concord. “We felt the only way to fight such an entrenched institution was to join together and show the strength of our numbers.” Lucy Trackton, an electrician from Berkeley had similar sentiments, “individually what can each of us do? Not much. But if we gang together we can show them we mean business.”

Collective bargaining and frequent strikes greatly harm the economy while providing nominal improvement to the well being of the workers, many in attendance believed. “We are here to bring the free-market system back to the workplace, like good Americans.”

Also in attendance was Brent Larder, a minister at Fresh Morning Baptist Church, who says he was so inspired by the actions of this group that he’s decided to organize a nude protest against pornography.