Cookie Monster’s Shocking Secret Revealed

Sophomore Tim Braches woke up late one morning and watched a delightful episode of the children’s favorite, Sesame Street. Moments later, Braches was brought to hysteric tears upon discovering the fact that his favorite character, Cookie Monster, didn’t really have an opening in his mouth.

“It was horrible!” Braches cried. “All this time I thought he was just a messy eater. I didn’t realize that he threw cookies everywhere because he couldn’t swallow them. I think it was a cry for help.”

A spokesperson for Children’s Television Workshop commented, “Yes, Cookie Monster had his mouth sealed after he learned that he had diabetes and could not eat the cookies in the sketch. Rest assured though, Cookie Monster gets all his nourishment from intravenous glucose.” She added, “His blue fur does wonders to hide the vein-tracts.”