Candidates Debate Real Issues

Presidential candidates George Bush and Al Gore agree on one thing: that claims that they are “both the same” are “absolutely ludicrous” and “really dumb.” In the second round of debates, the candidates decided to stop wasting time on media-hyped issues and really get to the core of their differences.

For example, when bombing Iraqi schoolhouses, Bush contends it is “imperative that our pilots fly in ‘V’ formation. ‘V’ is for ‘victory.'” Gore, however, is adamant that “echelon” formation be used, because “‘V’ looks like an upside-down ‘A,’ with a line missing.” On the issue of barring third-world nations from manufacturing generic AIDS drugs, Gore believes it is “really important,” while Bush solidly contends that it is “crucial.” And while both candidates support the death penalty, it is something Bush “takes very seriously,” while Gore “doesn’t take it lightly.”

It is widely expected that Moesha will sweep the ratings once again on the third night of debates.