Ventura Proposes Freeway Plan

Professional wrestler-turned-Minnesota Governor Jesse Ventura has announced his first major project as governor: a plan to redesign Minnesota’s freeway system to make it more accessible to drivers.

“The way it is now,” Ventura explained during a press conference, “there are all these entrances and exits all over the state. Some of them are hard to find and tricky to get on. I plan to construct one massive on- and off-ramp in the center of the state, so everyone knows where to find it. This will really help avoid confusion. YEAHH!”

While Ventura’s staff support the project, the governor’s announcement has led many Minnesota residents to question their judgment. Said Minnesota expatriate Julia Asparagus, “I can’t believe I voted for this moron.”

Other projects on Ventura’s back burner include a rope ladder to the moon, a giant heater to keep the state warm during the winter and arm wrestling matches to settle disputes in the state assembly. Impeachment proceedings are expected to begin soon. Hopefully very soon.