Berdahl to Write “Sex On Tuesday” — Schindell Named New Chancellor

The popular “Sex On Tuesday” column in the Daily Californian, also known as “The Only Thing In the Daily Cal That Ever Gets Read,” has a new author. Jenn Schindell, the previous writer, challenged Chancellor Robert Berdahl to give the position a try after he accused her column of being “less than edifying” at a recent ASUC Senate meeting. Berdahl agreed and, as of February 1st, the two will swap positions. Schindell will reportedly be running the university on a “condoms and lube for all” philosophy. Berdahl, when asked what insights he could offer on sex, gave the following reply: “I think kids these days jump into sex far too early. I didn’t do the dirty deed until I was in my early 40s and I’m glad I waited, because I came like a dragon.”