LBNL nuclear scientists recently revealed the culmination of a five year project costing $10 million: a big “nuclear thing” that is designed to recreate the condition of the universe immediately after the Big Bang. God was not amused. “I am not amused,” He told the Squelch, shaking His head disapprovingly. “This shit really pisses Me off.” The apparatus is designed to reach a temperature of a trillion degrees, which is believed to be the temperature of the Universe one millionth of a second after its inception. “I suppose that is pretty funny,” God told the Squelch with a Chuckle.