Democracy for Beginners

We need your help! Because we were too busy ingratiating ourselves to potential advertisers, we haven’t had time to come up with a motto for The Heuristic Squelch masthead.

The motto of a paper is very important to the success of any paper. Take, for instance, The New York Times and the San Francisco Chronicle. One is the paper of record and the other is, well, a quarter. The motto of the New York Times is “all the news that’s fit to print” and the San Francisco Chronicle’s is “if it rains, we’ll put it in a plastic bag for you.”

So please clip the coupon and mark the motto which best sums up the ‘feel’ of The Heuristic Squelch. The traditional way to read newspaper mottos is standing, with your hands on your hips and using a booming voice (see fig. 1). To insure accuracy, please read each slogan this way before voting. The slogans:

  • A. Does this look infected to you?
  • B. California Uber Alles
  • C. Follow us and do our evil bidding
  • D. We came, we caught, we cankered
  • E. Spare change?
  • F. Plagiarism is the sincerest form of flattery
  • G. Keep out of reach of children
  • H. WARNING: Contains explicit lyrics