Warning: Trying to access array offset on value of type bool in /services/http/users/s/squelch/wp-content/plugins/search-everything/config.php on line 29
Top Ten Uses For A Vacuum | The Heuristic Squelch
Volume 9- Issue 4

Top Ten Uses For A Vacuum

April 1, 2000
  1. Spay dog (you can suck the uterus right out of there)
  2. Turn innie into outie (for a brief period of time)
  3. In-home angioplasties
  4. Climb up side of building (requires two vacuums)
  5. Save money on shampoo
  6. Give self hickey; watch popularity skyrocket
  7. Reverse circumcision
  8. Steal atmosphere from rival planet
  9. Clean out ear wax
  10. Dust bunnies