[opening credits]
Producer: Of course in retrospect it seems totally obvious, but I remember we agonized for a while about casting God.
Director: And then–it was our casting director Jerry, I think–he brought up the idea of just using God.
Producer: And we were like: I don’t know. I mean, I know he’s God, but…can he act?
Director: It turned out to be exactly the right call.
God: A-men.
All: [laughter]
[Genesis 1:2]
Writer #1: So we’re sitting there, trying to hammer out the early scenes, but something’s missing. Something’s off.
Writer #2: Man, that was rough.
Writer #1: We were totally in the dark, you know? We had whole scenes you couldn’t make out. Then God comes in–
Writer #2: He’s so fucking money.
Writer #1: –Then God comes in, and he puts out his cigarette and he says, “Peep this. Let’s divide the light from the darkness.”
Writer #2: We all just stopped.
Writer #1: That’s when he asked for an executive producer credit.
Writer #2: It’s like he knew we were going to give it to him.
[Genesis 2:16]
Writer #1: What I really miss from our original draft of the Garden of Eden are the dinosaur scenes.
Writer #2: Oh, totally. Especially after WETA lined up to do them.
God: I think that will be all on the subject of dinosaurs.
Writers: Yes, Lord.
Director: If you look closely, that’s actually Andy Serkis playing the serpent.
[Genesis 4:8]
Producer: When one of your actors dies, the whole production is jeopardized.
Director: Sure it’s tragic, but the real headache is worrying about story continuity, contracts, agents, unions…
Writer #1: We only had two hours to do the rewrite.
Writer #2: Yeah, Cain sure wasn’t happy with the way that turned out.
[Genesis 5:25]
Director: There’s a continuity error in this scene. If you’re watching closely, you’ll notice that Methuselah actually lives for nine hundred years.
Script Supervisor: Yeah, my bad.
[Exodus 12:40]
Producer: Egypt. Yikes. Please, let’s never do that again.
Director: Tell me about it. Ordering all the extras around really made me feel like a slave driver!
All: [laughter]
Director: But seriously, the wind, the sand, the camels. Total nightmare.
God: [sighing] I never should have set this story in the desert.
