221B Factory Way
Shoe Factory District 4
Shoe Distribution Province 8
Malaysia 91423
9/15/2004
Dear 13-year-old Malaysian girl who made my sneakers,
I’ve never considered myself a romantic, but I’ve always believed that true love can find us anywhere. You can only imagine my pleasant surprise this morning upon finding your note in my new pair of Nike Air Force Max II’s. As I read your message, I felt an immediate connection to you. We have so many things in common: we both like Nikes (me wearing them, you making them), and though I have no experience with the issue you spoke of in your letter, I’m sure I’d dislike being beaten with a flashlight by your brother-in-law every night too. I think we could really have something special together. Please write back.
Hopefully yours,
Simon
P.S. You did a great job on the shoes.
2321 Ellsworth
Berkeley, CA 94704
9/24/2004
PLEASE HALP ME!
I know my English bad. I learn from Nike promotional packaging. You must understand.
Send food or use mad hops to save me. I not straight playin’ fool. Take it to the hole or I die.
Swoosh,
Amira
221B Factory Way
Shoe Factory District 4
Shoe Distribution Province 8
Malaysia 91423
9/25/2004
Dearest Amira,
My heart swelled with love upon finding your new letter. I instantly knew it was from you because of the intimate bond we’ve formed. Also because it was delivered by rickshaw. It’s like we’ve known each other our whole lives, or at least for the 13 years since you were born.
I bet we even watch a lot of the same TV shows. Do you like Star Trek? If you’ve never seen it, you should watch some of the old episodes they play on SpikeTV, or whatever they call The Nashville Network in Malaysia. I feel like I am Captain Kirk, and you are the Orion Slave Girl from episode #52. Please send a picture of yourself; I want to post it on my Xanga.
Faithfully yours,
Simon
2321 Ellsworth
Berkeley, CA 94704
10/11/2004
Please Help!
I had to sell my body for night to local grocer to get this mailed. everynight I pray to his airness Michael Jordan, but my prayers only answered in form of killer crossover. I lost my foot in shoe press today. you my last hope. Don’t make a playa beg. You gotta be clutch and save me. Just do it.
P.S. I am dead. Do not write to me ever again. Sincerely, Little Girl
It was hard being dumped. Maybe I was a fool to think that we could make it work: I was a 19-year-old college student just learning about love, and she was a sophisticated 13-year-old Malaysian girl with a bustling career in the apparel industry. I guess it’s just like Shakespeare said: it’s better to have loved and lost, than to have loved and bought inferior shoes.
