A study released Wednesday by the UC Berkeley Environmental Science department on the weather patterns of the Israeli desert has drawn heavy criticism from both pro Israel and pro-Palestinian factions on campus. The study, which found that the Negev Desert in southern Israel was “pretty fucking hot”, has sparked outrage on campus.
Leading members of Students for Justice in Palestine labeled the study as “more proof of blatant Zionist propaganda in Western Universities”, while the official Jewish Student Union response called the study “another example of the radical anti-Semitic bias among UC Berkeley faculty.”
“Clearly this rise in temperature is a result of Israeli subterfuge,” a member of SJP told Squelch reporters. “This professor is a Zionist extremist who is abusing his power and funds to push for more settlements in the West Bank, and thus pushing to prolong the apartheid regime occupying Palestine. This study was obviously funded by Benjamin Netanyahu and his Likud allies in their war against the Muslim people,” she added.
Members of the Jewish Student Union shot back, “To imply that settling in the West Bank is a main cause of global warming is ridiculous,” a leading member of Tikvah: Students for Israel told Squelch. “Clearly it is a result of Palestinian subterfuge. This liberal professor is a jihadist extremist who, along with rest of the UC Berkeley faculty, will stop at nothing until a third intifada turns Israel into a Sharia state, and all the Jews are pushed into the sea.”
“Israel has the right to defend itself,” he added.
Both factions are demanding that the professor who authored the study step down from his position immediately, and there are protests planned on Sproul Plaza for the next ten days.
